The First Five

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I am five months into my new job as a personal support worker. During this time I have accumulated five clients.

In less than a month I will be doing it full time. Recently, I have experienced some of the challenging obsticles invovled with this new path of mine. Although they may be challenging, I enjoy working hard and learning new skills and techniques.

The rush of accomplishing your goals after months of hard work, stress and eventual success, is a great feeling. But do not let this great feeling consume you.

Just like NRE, or new relationship energy, it can make you feel incredibly high. High enough that it may cover you in a euphoric haze and distract you from making good decisions.

The haze that I was consumed in manifested itself in me putting way too much pressure on myself to peform well. Or in other words, wanting to be the best personal support worker, ever. Seriously, I felt like that.

In the last two weeks, while interacting with clients, I sometimes made poor decisions. Or more specifically, on two occasions, when we would be out in public and they would be behaving inappropriately, I can remember getting frustrated and taking their negative behavior personally. When I took their negative words and actions personally, in that moment, I was forgetting that I am there to support them. Never the other way around.

If I start to feel frustrated then my clients start to get stressed, anxious and also start to get frustrated.

This is what I call emotional state transfer.

I remember bringing this idea up, of emotional state transfer, during a workplace seminar I attended a few months ago. I had the opportunity to talk about it when it came time for the group to ask the speaker some questions.

Little did they know I first learned about emotional state transfer from a few sources, 1) old Game liturature like Hypnotica, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Carlos Xuma, etc. and 2) from the first few times I took mdma.

The two speakers and the group were intrigued and also impressed.

I remember leaving that seminar with not just some contacts and great advice, but this incredible feeling like I could lead, help and save ANYONE on the planet!

That feeling, that rush, helped motivate me to get more and more clients. As good as it was as a motivator, I soon forgot to think realistically for myself. As I said, I thought I could lead the world, but seemed to forget that I have only been doing this for five months and have no formal training (other than CPR) or academic certification (I eventually will) to my name.

My approach now is more sutble and actionable instead of in-your-face-know-it-all and confusing. I now listen to my clients more closely. And try to be more client-specific in my leading skills.

I genuinly want to help these young men and make sure they are learning something new and having fun in the process. I am slowly, but surely, learning to not put too much pressure on myself, and my clients, and to relax and have fun. An example is instead of me always worrying how they might be feeling, I know now, if they are not enjoying themselves or feel stressed they will find a way to communicate that to me. I just have to look closer at their behavior. Behavior = Communication.

Finding a passion and new path in life is a wonderful feeling. But beware of the impact this feeling can have on your emotional state and the others around you and also your overall progress in self improvement. Become self aware enough to make sure the rush of a new beginning does not make you burn out before you have a chance to shine. -d

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34 Days To A New Beginning

I quit my cooking job. I have thirty four days left until my only source of income is self employment.

Having a plan is essential before leaving your current job. I currently have five clients/contracts and my plan is to get another five so I can fill up my schedule and continue to network throughout the company and community.

I am also taking the steps necessary to enroll in a one year fast-track course in DSW. Having a piece of paper saying I graduated from a college course plus my awesome personality and leadership skills will put me ahead of the competition. That is just the way it is and I might as well do my best and make money while simultaneously trying to Enjoy The Decline.

If you are stuck in a job you dislike, before you make any rash decisions and terminate your employment, make sure you have a fall-back plan.

That could be anything from another job, money saved up or friends and family to help you out.

I am fortunate enough to have all four.

 

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The decision to leave the pub and do something I am actually passionate about was difficult but necessary.

After becoming a screened personal support worker within these last six months I have come to realize my time and skills are valuable. And I will take my skills to whomever values me the most AKA pays me accordingly.

I remember making the decision on-the-line while cooking.

There was a rush of emotions. Many thoughts ran through my head. But basically what I can remember hating for the last time were the cuts, the burns, the childish behavior, the lack of responsibility, the terrible communication between the front and back of the house or more specifically, the lack of leadership throughout the pub.

 

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It was not always like this and I did learn a lot.

Some skills I learned are:

  • Being a leader during high pace, high energy and stressful situations
  • Proper food handling
  • Great knife and basic cooking skills

Some fun things I did while working at the pub where:

  • Getting drunk after work for free
  • Drinking booze while cooking
  • Gaming the servers and hostesses
  • Getting baked behind the dumpsters on a break
  • Cooking up whatever I felt like eating that day
  • Secretly making out with FB’s
  • Getting a hand-job upstairs in the change room from a tiny-brunette-twenty-two-year-old-female server (*Note – Although that was awesome I do not recommend dating fellow employees. Only be discreet FB’s. I do not have experience in an office setting but I imagine it goes the same.)

 

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There comes a time in a young mans’ life where he must realize whether he can continue with what he is doing and accept his eventual plateau or take the risk of going out on his own and find the room for financial and personal growth.

In thirty four days I will literally be my own boss.

I cannot be certain what will happen in the next six months. But if the previous six are any indication, I will be just fine. -d

What I Learned From Amateur Wrestling

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As I am sure all of my readers know, being part of a sport – whether it is football, baseball, hockey, basketball, soccer or rugby – is extremely beneficial for your health, social life and over all well being.

For me though there was something about amateur wrestling that made me stick with it for six years.

From the ages of thirteen to eighteen I was an active member of my public school, high school and city wrestling teams.

Every time I smell bleach I am taken back to the mats. The early morning drives to practices and tournaments, the smashed feet, bruised elbows, scraped face, crushed fingers and bloody noses.

I remember it all.

At a tournament, before a match, I would take a look at the eight or twelve man bout sheet. While looking at my name and scanning the sheet I would almost always run into one of my competitors.

There was an immediate size-up from both of us. We would look each other over and contemplate whether we could take each other on. But as I knew, this was just a primal act. And that we would not know for sure who would win until the whistle blew and are hands and bodies met.

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 (Frosted tips were in)

Half-Nelson

This post was inspired by a blog-post from over at Danger&Play called, “Neil deGrasse Tyson: “We Wrestle Because It’s Hard”.

http://www.flowrestling.org/speaker/18939-Neil-deGrasse-Tyson

I am a big Neil deGrasse Tyson fan. Cosmos is the shit! Check out that video, it is not long, and swing back here.

Back? Okay good. Anyways, when I saw the title of the post I could not of clicked and opened it fast enough. If you have ever wrestled before than you can understand my excitement.

Seeing wrestling, or having it even talked about, in the mainstream media is almost never seen, at least where I am from. So seeing it from blog that I frequent was such a treat.

The video that was shared in the post resonated with me and I started reminiscing about my youth, back-in-the-day.

Neil goes on to describe, in his compassionate and high-spirited way, that amateur wrestling is the purest sport known to man (5min34sec).

I happen to agree.

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 (Far right, two medals baby!)

Head ‘N Arm

When my dad first started teaching, about thirty-plus years ago, he was also his schools’ wrestling coach. So it seemed natural that I was directed towards my old-man’s past-glory-sport.

I am so glad that my dad put me into wrestling. Not just because the life-long lessons I learned from such a disciplined sport but also because it almost did not happen.

You see, my older brother was born with a condition that makes his neck and upper spine vulnerable to injury. He is not physically disabled, in a wheelchair or inhibited in any way, just prone to injury.

At a young age because of my brothers’ compromising circumstance he and I were encouraged (by doctors) not to pursue football or hockey, two of the more popular (and full contact) sports in my city.

Again, I cannot thank my old-man enough for motivating me to go into amateur wrestling. It gave me something to work towards and kept me out of trouble (mostly).

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(In the middle getting a head-lock)

Cross-Face

I had been enrolled into other sports, baseball and soccer, when I was younger but none of them had an impact on my life like wrestling did. As I mentioned before, there are things about amateur wrestling that made me stick with it for so many years.

To give you an idea of what the competition looked like, when I started – thirteen years old – I was in the fifty-one kilogram weight class and when I finished – eighteen years old – I was in the sixty-one kilogram weight class.

I was not at the bottom of the weight classes (feather weight class) but I was also nowhere near the top (unlimited weight class).

My weight class was a mix of strength, agility and endurance. Heavy on the agility and endurance.

I was never one of those wrestlers who got so pumped-up that they needed to pace back and forth. I was a calm before the storm. That is why I was known for not being able to be read very well. My competition very rarely could figure me out.

My style was almost purely technique based. I had bad endurance and was not the most flexible but I was the most technical wrestler in my weight class, especially the last couple years I was in the sport.

The things Neil said in the video about wrestling could not be more true. And I could not articulate them any better.

But I would like to briefly mention the benefits that I gained from amateur wrestling and the things that I learned.

Some benefits of amateur wrestling are:

  • a great way to build confidence and character
  • the development of self-defence skills
  • brings out males natural roughhousing abilities
  • improvement of fitness and athletic abilities such as balance, agility, reflex and endurance

Some valuable life skills I learned from amateur wrestling:

  • discipline
  • sportsmanship
  • confidence
  • mental toughness

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 (I am the farthest left sitting on the ground)

Touch Pin

As the years went on and my dedication to wrestling dwindled my focus went from the love of the sport and athletics to a commitment of binge drinking and weed smoking. Such is a life of a middle-class, white-suburban North American male.

Although one year I was invited to a Michigan university for a freestyle-wrestling summer camp I do not feel bad about not pursing a career in amateur wrestling.

The ebb and flow of life can sweep you up and present you with different opportunities and priorities. Whatever feels important to you is what you must pursue.

I will always have the wonderful lessons learned from one of the most ancient sporting activities known to man. And I hope one day to share my skills and techniques with young men and maybe perhaps if I have a family, my son. -dcl

Howdy Stranger

tumblr_mnikkn5mYx1s79rl8o1_500 I have met a lot of strange people in my life and I am glad of every single one. I may not of been able to relate to them from my own life experiences but they very often gave me a glimpse into the lives of people who are underprivileged, drug addicted, who were a struggling single parent, drug dealer, criminal, biker and many more. Making an effort to meet and interact with various types of people, especially in your youth, can do wonders for your people skills and self awareness. Also, the more types of people you meet, the more types of people you can screen to have in your life, or to not get involved with.

Nose Candy

When I was in high school I used to hang out at the beach a lot. The locals would joke and call me preppy and I would laugh and call them townies. We all got along. There was this one kid who owned his own house. He would host and sponsor these huge raves. The raves had a mix of country folk, trailer trash, drug fiends and hockey players. On any given afternoon, while strolling along the beach, you could run into one of these wonderful people. This one guy (we’ll call him ‘Jimmy’) could be seen stumbling along the shoreline. On one such afternoon my friend and I were talking to these two girls when all of a sudden Jimmy pops out of nowhere. My friend and I look at each other with a look that says, “If we do not get this man out of here these girls will be gone SO FAST!” Because Jimmy was the biggest vag-tingle repellent I ever met. As he approached us, we moved to exchanged pleasantries quickly so as to not have him linger around for too long. After Jimmy regaled us with a story of his previous night of debauchery, he eventually says his good bye. My buddy and I thought we were in the clear. But right before he left, Jimmy makes the biggest loogie-hork sound ever, swallows it then reaches into his nose. He pulls out a little booger-ball of cocaine and then puts it in his mouth and says, “Nice wake and bake gumm’er boys!” And walks away. That was the last time I saw Jimmy. That was also the last time I saw those girls.

The Woody Pendulum

This one dude (we’ll call him ‘Stan’) I met in college. He lived in the same shitty apartment building as my two friends. Stan used to hook us up with weed or whatever we happened to be looking for for that weekend. He was also a very loyal person and a loving father. If anyone tried to fuck with us Stan was the first one to go ape shit crazy. On occasion we would hang out with him. Mostly so we could keep our dealer. One night when we were drinking at Stan’s he showed us some nasty scars. The best one by far was his back. You see, Stan had his back skin-grafted because his homemade hash oil operation blew up all around him. After the skin grafting he got his back scars covered up with tattoos of an elaborate flaming skulls mosaic. Another time while Stan and my buddies and I were drinking he asked us if we wanted to see something crazy. Of course we did. He grabbed a short orange wooden stool, a nail and a hammer. He then proceeded to take off his pants, put his sack on the stool seat and then HAMMERED the nail into his sack (the skin part), through to the stool. Then he picked it up and started swinging the stool back and forth between his legs with his balls. We all could not stop howling! Oh man, I wonder what happened to Stan.

Howdy Stranger

Those are just two examples from my life of interesting people I have met. Those men are not in my life anymore for some obvious reasons. Because I developed good people skills and had the tools to be able to screen people who came in and out of my life, I was able to move on with no harm done. You should use discretion when interacting with weirdos. If you have developed personal boundaries then this should not be an issue. Do not be afraid to meet all sorts of people. Also, do not put too much pressure on yourself to just meet women. Cool and fun experiences generate stories that you can share. You will never run out of things to say. So get outside this summer and try to meet all sorts of interesting folk. -dcl

We Do Not Look Up Any More

“Long before we had movies, TV or electronic devices of any kind, our imagination stayed trapped in our heads, and our mind was the only stage where stories came to life.

Thousands of years ago we would look up at the stars, from all over the planet, and piece together what life was about by connecting the dots.

Humans used to have a more personal relationship with the stars. We used them for things like navigation and for telling amazing and wonderful stories to try to explain how things came to be. But hidden underneath those tales was a manual for survival.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson, COSMOS

I can’t be certain about the rest of the world but I think a lot of young North American’s have lost connection with that ancient manual.

Electronic devices can control your behaviour.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Put down the phone, parents, it could be affecting your kids.
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/04/21/put-down-the-phone-parents-it-could-be-affecting-your-kids/
Tech addiction.
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/tech-addiction/
Mobile addiction rising.
http://time.com/73033/mobile-addiction-rising/
Smart phone addicts should attempt to focus on the real world.
http://www.dailytitan.com/2014/04/smartphone-addicts-should-attempt-to-focus-on-the-real-world/

And something called, Nomophabia  – “You are anxious whenever your phone is not in your possession. You constantly check your phone for texts and feel compelled to respond immediately. You are halfway to the store, realize you forgot your phone and turn around to go get it.” I have done this.

Electronic devices are incredibly useful, if used properly and in moderation. Take a look around at other people next time you’re out and about. See this epidemic rising. Also remember to always be mindful of your own behaviour. -dcl

Umwelt: Welcome To Your Perceptual Experience

Young North American men should be encouraged to live a life of constant self-improvement.  That can mean challenging their preconceived notions of how they, and other people, are actually experiencing reality.  How a young man conducts himself around other people says a lot about that man’s character.

Young men must break out of their comfort zone in order to start becoming the man they really want to be.  In order to break out of your personal bubble, and start the journey through self-development, you must first understand what is going on around you and inside of you.

What Is Our Conscious Experience Really Like?

A good place to start, also a helpful and simple demonstration where humans are in relation to their universe, take Martin Rees’s “Ouroboros And The Scale Of The Universe”. (http://www.macroeducation.org/martin-rees-vancouver-ouroboros-size-scale-good-sci-fi/)

Our perceptual environment, or Umwelt as biologist Jakob von Uexküll and semiotician and linguist Thomas A. Sebeokis call it, is the reality in which we are engulfed.

It feels like we are in cased inside our skull behind the eyes looking out at the theater of life.  However it is becoming increasingly obvious to the majority of scientists, in all fields, that there is in fact no ghost in the machine.

Or as neuroscientist Sam Harris puts it,

“Subjectively speaking, there is only consciousness and its contents; there is no inner self who is conscious. The feeling of being the experiencer of your experience, rather than identical to the totality of experience, is an illusion.”

Who’s In Control

Unconscious processes control our behaviour.  Those unconscious processes are made up of subsystems of neural circuitry.  The neural circuitry conjures up the best possible decision to be made. Memories from personal history and genetic predisposition to certain traits play a significant role in the decision making process.

When a decision is made, it is then shot up to our conscious awareness and told what is to be done out in the real world.  Our entire way of thinking is dependent on our surroundings and the inner workings of our bodies.  Another way of putting it:

                “In what relates living systems cognition is consequently an embodied, embedded and always situated experience.  This means it involves a cognitive entity endowed with a particular physical architecture interacting with the specific world it is immersed in, producing a dynamics that defines events taking place in particular contexts anchored in space/time.” – The Concept of Umwelt Overlap: An Application to Artificial Cognition by Maria Isabel Aldinhas Ferreira                     (http://www.academia.edu/2489908/The_Concept_of_Umwelt_Overlap_An_application_to_Artificial_Cognition)

Or another example:

“…the storm of nerve and muscle activity is registered by the brain, but what is served up to your awareness is something quite different.” – David Eagleman, excerpt from Incognito (http://www.amazon.com/Incognito-The-Secret-Lives-       Brain/dp/0307389928)

To see outside our Umwelt men use powerful microscopes and telescopes here on earth, and on satellites and rovers throughout our solar system.

Those tools for pushing human boundaries could not have been possible if the inventors had shut themselves out from ambition and decided things were okay the way they were.

Peripheral Devices In Nature

Different types of animals pick up on different things:

Many types of bats see with their ears using echolocation.
The Platypus has sensory cells in its duck-like bill that detects weak electrical signals made by other animals when in the water.
Several types of snakes have pits on their head that help them see heat at certain wavelengths, the ability to sense infrared thermal radiation.
Also there is research suggesting Pigeons and Cows have the amazing ability to detect Earth’s magnetic field.

These are just a few examples of some animals and their abilities to interact, survive and function in their environment using natures’ creative peripheral devices.

These days the devices we all need to interact, survive and function with can fit in our hand, or lap.

For example the invention of Cloud Storage Services has made it even easier to collect, save and share any type of content, useful or not.  The smart phone and other such devices are essentially an extension of our brain, albeit a bit more interactive.

A young man developing the skills to cope with his world must also understand the power of such devices.

It used to be (not too long ago) when people were out and about on the street, walking to and from wherever, they were not nearly as glued to their phones or shut out from the world by headphones or ear-buds.  It used to be much easier to elicit a smile from a passer-by just by making and holding eye contact and smiling back.

Everywhere you look someone is immersed in their smart-phone.  Young men must adjust for this technology-based change in behaviour and conduct themselves accordingly.

Information overload can become hazardous to your well being if not handled appropriately and in moderation. It can get in the way of progress and you can become preoccupied or too busy with projects or even people that are of no value to you in the short or long term.

Thumotic has a great article on how to deal with information overload. (http://www.thumotic.com/feed-your-brain/)

Some Tips On Conduct That Affect Your Character

Put your phone away when talking to someone.

Keep it on silent or vibrate, everywhere, other than perhaps when in private, like your house.

When taking a call, unless your in a busy public place, leave the room.  Nobody wants to here the conversation.

Do not pull your phone out when you or someone else enters an elevator.  For example: you walk into an elevator, see a women, she pulls out her phone (I have noticed sometimes people pull out their phone for no apparent reason other than to look like they are doing something, perhaps an evolution of nervous habits) and instead of you doing the same or saying nothing, try to gauge her body language and open her with something like, “Five bucks says your not texting anyone right now (playfully smile).” And then proceed to tell her how you also pull your phone out for no reason some times, and then go from there.

So young men everywhere, remember,  step back from the phone and The Cloud and return to the life of meat and bones.

Understanding how the brain works combined with using technology in moderation, by conducting yourself with good character around others, are great skills to have as a young man driven by positive self-development.

Breaking Out

I have been taking self-improvement very seriously these last eight months. Even with ups and downs I have noticed an overall positive difference in my health, people skills and well-being.  I can attribute much of this success with taking the time to learn, research and observe red pill concepts and how my cognition actually works.

Being able to understand how cognition and perception works goes hand in hand when digesting the red pill and busting out of your shell.  You can see through the matrix and then begin to start recognizing how human beings actually work.

You will observe that you can control your behaviour in ways you could not before.  You can manipulate your thoughts, feelings and actions to the point where any type of negative behaviour can be erased with ease.

Lastly, when one recognizes the brain is first and foremost a biological-brain and human cognition is a result of physical processes within the brain, you start to notice the same behaviour patterns in other people.  This is the best part of realizing you can break out of your Umwelt.  You start to  interact with people on a whole new level.  It can drastically change your outlook on life, for the better.

To have the conscious awareness/mind/I/ego/self peel back the hidden layer of the unconscious mind and meddle with the cognitive processes, would only hurt your decision making and your brain’s natural modus operandi.

Embrace that fact that you cannot control everything. It can be relieving. It can take some pressure off of you.  You can then use that extra energy to pursue self-improvement.

Your personal history and genes will dictate what your unconscious has to work with.  If you are a good person, have had a relatively normal life (the good and bad), continually learn things and are not a psychopath then you should turn out alright.

Human beings are notoriously bad observers of their experience.

So I challenge you to look at your surroundings with a different perspective, respond appropriately to the effects technology has on our behaviour and break out of your comfort zone, break out of your Umwelt. -dcl