Ultimatums

How many times throughout your life have you had a woman say something like, “For this to work I need some things to change.”

No doubt if you’ve thrown yourself to the wolves put yourself out there, tried and failed with women, then you’ve heard versions of the line above.

Not too long ago, I was given an ultimatum.

Exhibit A:

dcllive the talk.jpg

Here we go. Lets break this down some.

I always ask if you want to come over. I see you once a week, if I’m lucky.

I don’t mind this formula. Works for me.

…and at the beginning it was fine but now I’m starting to really like you and I want more.

You really like me. Have you ever considered that you like me, because you only see me once a week, because I’m not always available, and because you’re lucky (heh)?

More eh. What do you suppose “more” means fellas? More means time. More of me.

Women control sex. Men control commitment (make sure the first commitment is yourself).

I know you’re busy and everything with school and work, but like even just coming over every now and then and spending the night before school.

Yes I am busy. Again, that’s why you like me!

Idk I’m rambling I know I’m sorry I’m just upset and I want this to work but for it to work I need some things to change

And there it is guys. The beautiful cognitive dissidence.

(hey I’m guilty of that too sometimes)

Or perhaps she was on her period?

Regardless of the reason, it’s still nutter.

She likes me, but thinks I have to change. How the fuck doesn’t she see that, if I change she won’t like me anymore!

And also, why not change yourself if you think you want more? Why do I have to do anything?

Here was my response:

dcllive the talk 2.jpg

I don’t care anymore if a woman gives me an ultimatum.

What exactly am I losing? Pussy? Okay. There’s an app for that.

This sort of thing has happened to me in every relationship I’ve been in. I ‘make changes’ and the woman I’m with stops liking me.

Now I’m not blaming them for that. It was me who changed. But it sure is revealing to me how women can say conflicting things like this.

I know a bunch of you just went, “Ya no shit D. Women have been saying conflicting shit like this for centuries” and to that I say, you’re right.

But I’m the type of guy who needs to see and be a part of this RP stuff. I cannot just read about it and accept that it’s true. An RP lens on life is tough but necessary.

I tried my hardest to not come off as boyfriend material. She made several efforts to go on trips with me, eg. camping, road trip, and overnight in a hotel. All are fun things. But I didn’t want to be doing that in the middle of the semester. So I cancelled.

My reason was I was busy with school. Yes, it’s shitty when someone cancels plans with you, but hey, that’s life.

We would have great sex. She called me daddy. But there was no way in hell this broad was more than a sex friend. This is probably why.

She’s 21 and parties a lot. I cannot keep up with that. I’m okay with that.

I guess that’s the last time I’ll hear from….

..wait a minute, what’s that?

dcllive the talk 3.jpg

About four weeks later I get a, “Hey.”

No Contact Game is real.

I’ve been busy so, we’ll see if we hook up again. Only time will tell.


What did you guys think of my response?

What would you have said?

Have you guys ever had this happen to you as well?

Lets us know and spread the word in the comments below.


Further Reading:
  1. The Talk
  2. The Gatekeepers
  3. The Paradox of Commitment
  4. Ultimatum (I swear I didn’t know Rollo had a post titled that before posting mine ha)
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4 thoughts on “Ultimatums”

  1. “How many times throughout your life have you had a woman say something like, ‘For this to work I need some things to change.”

    Just once.

    Had a relationship begin halfway through college, cute redhead with knockers that could open locked doors.

    Was in a naturally cocky/funny/playfully sexual frame at the time, and knocked back a few shit tests. (Including her freaking out that I wasn’t reacting to her going to the beach with another guy, who turned out to be 8)

    We get to hers and she gives me ‘the talk’.

    “Harkness, I want to be with you but you need to change one thing.”

    (Was invested by this point) “What?”

    “You have to stop making sexual innuendos.”

    Taking a moment to avoid correcting her (“Innyourendo”) I calmly replied that was okay, and that it wouldn’t work out between us. Her friends had the gall to come to me later and accuse me of breaking her heart, but would they have rather I break my balls?

    As always, great job Dcllive, keep it up. Your writing style is becoming more engaging too, compared to your older stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

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