What Should You Do When An Ex Girlfriend Contacts You?

A few days ago I received that text above from an ex girlfriend of mine.

A quick recap of the ex girlfriend:

  • It was a bit over one year ago that we stopped seeing each other
  • Met her at the pub we both worked at
  • She was in University taking Psychology/Criminology
  • Her parents are divorced
  • Has several tattoos
  • Sells weed (my roommate still grabs from her)
  • Cheated on a boyfriend of hers with me (didn’t know at the time)
  • Slept with her many times
  • She’s a 7 (subjective I know)

After writing that bullet point list I thought I would feel, well, something. Like perhaps sad or even mad. Nope, nothing.

I think it’s because after getting some lays out of the way (eventually) I’m starting to see and experience that ‘abundance mentality’ and ‘outcome independence’ all the pua, RP and self-improvement sites talk about.

For example, that girl from the threesome, I no longer talk to her. Not because I dislike her or that I did something wrong (that I know of or care about) but because we each were filling a role in each others lives. Those roles have been played (although, from her side, it could be because of a LSNFTE –  Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity).

Currently I have two new women that I see from time to time. I almost never initiate contact first and they seem to really like me. That all makes writing this so much easier.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that some of my inaugural posts…

When You’re Not Seeing Anyone Else

When You Don’t Know If You’re A Fuck Buddy Or A Boyfriend

No Contact Game

…were in fact my ‘unplugging’ after a ‘break up’ with her (although it was just the final blow in a long line of failed relationships).

I put ‘break up’ in those quotes because can you really break up with someone if there wasn’t really anything established, other than sex and hanging out? To me, not really. The usual fade-out or going Ghost is usually the preferred method of moving on these days.

The best way I could explain my way of looking at my dating life is, “it is what it is“.

So, I asked some fellow manospherians, on twitter, what they would do in my situation:

I quite like those suggestions. Some think it’s a good idea, some notice the risk.

I know what I’m going to do, but, I’d really like to know what you guys would do in this situation.

Would you contact her back?

Would you schedule a meet up?

How much have you changed since you last talked to/saw her?

I would very much like to hear your ideas in the comments below.

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4 thoughts on “What Should You Do When An Ex Girlfriend Contacts You?”

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