Two weeks ago I got a text from an old dangerous crush of mine. I shared it here.
Some guys who follow my blog left their thoughts as to what they thought I should do…
you can torture her with your awesome lifestyle, or you can just disregard and keep working on yourself…One thing for sure, she’s not worth re-engaging as a potential lover.
And another,,,
I would get in touch, just out of curiosity, really. It’s amazing how people change (for good and bad). It would also be interesting to see how you react and feel when you see her (now that you’re approaching things from a RP perspective)…so maybe it’s worth exploring how you have changed as a man when facing a situation like this. Just make sure you don’t get back to hers and drink wine!
Also a user by the name of Baron Von HotSauce shared his story of living with one (oh dear god)…
In a former life, I was cultivating a oneitis live-in for permanent co-habitation. By a miracle I found the cajones to send her packing back to her rural digs after dealing with her volcanic temper once too often.
A year goes by and I get a letter from her hitting me up with flirtatious and flowery praise. Her retail craft store had left her penniless after it went under and she was now seeking to reunite with her former well-paid ex whom she had failed to appreciate enough to keep her temper in check for back in the day.
Needless to say, the letter was promptly crumpled and perfectly bank-shot into the wastebasket.
Plenty of fish out there and I really hate being thought of as a real sucker.
Rollo Tomassi of The Rational Male even dropped by and left a link to a post of his, that I think every young man should read, called, “Old Flame New Game“.
Saturday night I got an interesting text message from the former oneitis.
Life is rather different as transitions take hold.
A baby will do that.
I miss our friendship but sometimes the good life goes somewhere else.
Can anyone spot the word that no man wants to hear from a woman?
She sent some random song lyrics a bit after the last text. It’s Saturday night. Booze was involved. I didn’t continue a conversation of any kind. I now know better.
I’m not mad or upset either. I would have been over a year ago. But now I know where all of this is coming from. I see it as a good example and case study I can share with you guys. The quotes above are the kind of interesting thought processes (hamstering?) that women can go through.
At this point I’m either being seen as a Rebound Guy or a Sure Thing Guy. That’s okay.
Combine that with the fact that shes a single mother looking out in to the future and seeing an end that she wasn’t really prepared for, you can see why she’d be reaching out to something/someone that she is “comfortable” with. However, it couldn’t have been that comfortable. We never had sex. And having sex with a woman, I’m seeing or investing time in, is important to me and within this last year I now realize just how much.
Bravioman from twitter puts it nicely…
Sex without the connection is like riding a roller coaster after waiting in a two hour line. meh.
I mentioned in the other post that I’m back on the facebook. I’m controlling my usage and only going on once or twice a week. I’ve been uploading pictures of my time around the city with my new job. For example, exotic pet stores, sushi bars and a military museum (I hadn’t been to that museum in years, it was really cool). There is no doubt in my mind she is getting a tiny glimpse in to my, now, more intetesting life and wants a piece.
I don’t expect this to be the last time she contacts me. But it probably will be for a while.
It’s a funny thing, guys can claim to be “Red Pill” and understand how women are, but until you actually start seeing those situations in real life, all that theory and back and forth doesn’t mean much.
Unplugging takes way longer than I thought. But I’m in it for the long haul.
Has anyone else had an old girlfriend or crush contact them recently under similar circumstances?
If so, what did you do?
UPDATE – This morning (Sunday Feb. 8th) she sent a text message abolishing any responsibility on her part for sending those others messages last night. It was never her fault…
