A quick recap of the former oneitis:
- met her at the pub five years ago
- we used to drink wine and hangout at her place (had a drunken make-out, never had sex with her, I didn’t know how to read the signs of interest)
- I hooked up with a coworker of hers
- I got a (carrot scraping) blow job from one of her friends
- one of her friends moved across the country to live with a guy she met over the internet
- a bunch of her friends have kids
- the oneitis dated a forty year old, it was a drama filled relationship, ended eventually, or so I heard
- she got pregnant, then had an abortion
- she got pregnant again and kept the child
- she’s now twenty eight years old
- “shmee” was the last text she sent me two years ago, I didn’t respond
- today I got a facebook ‘poke’ from said oneitis (see screenshot above)
(All of you, I’m sure, can see all the red flags in the recap above. At the time, I didn’t.)
I should mention that about a year ago I deactivated my facebook account. Not because I was going to travel around the world and had too many commitments that I just couldn’t be bothered with it. Nope. It was because I had nothing to share and I was sick of seeing exes in the news feed (at the time I didn’t know about the ‘un-folllow’ option).
Fast forward to now. The facebook is activated. Although now I have a handle on my usage. I check it/upload a cool pic once a week.
I’ve got a career started and a good reputation within the company that hires me. After seeing a nutritionist I now have a good handle on my bad eating habits. I go to the gym a few times a week (I’m not big at all, but I’ve got to start somewhere – this is a good place – review coming soon). And the transition I’m making from a going nowhere-supplicating-needy-bitch to a man-with-a-plan with some money in his hand, has filled me with an aura of confidence that I carry around with me at all times.
All of those awesome things that I have going for me, in combination with the former oneitis being a single mother and in the Epiphany Phase (I gave it another read this morning), are a perfect mixture of characteristics and situations that results in her contacting me after a few years.
I already know what I’m going to do with this situation. But, I want to know what YOU guys would do in this situation and if you’ve been in similar situations like this.
Have you guys been contacted by a former oneitis after a few years? What did you do when they did?
or
Knowing the things you know now (TRP) what will you do when that former oneitis contacts you after all those years?
low value, wall hitting single mom gets in touch. you can torture her with your awesome lifestyle, or you can just disregard and keep working on yourself.
One thing for sure, she’s not worth re-engaging as a potential lover.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“you can torture her with your awesome lifestyle, or you can just disregard and keep working on yourself.”
Great comment.
A combination of both for me. She’s an acquaintance and knows people I know. So, I won’t contact her and I’ll leave the ‘poke’ in facebook limbo. While at the same time ‘torture her with my awesome life.’
“One thing for sure, she’s not worth re-engaging as a potential lover.”
That’s for damn sure. I don’t hate her. Nor do I wish the worst for her.
She’s a woman doing her thing.
But I can’t help but feel a bit happy about the situation. Although, it’s fleeting so, I won’t dwell on it.
LikeLike
http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/23/old-flame-new-game/
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would get in touch, just out of curiosity, really. It’s amazing how people change (for good and bad). It would also be interesting to see how you react and feel when you see her (now that you’re approaching things from a RP perspective). No thoughts of getting together/revenge/whatever – waste of time and energy. Alternatively, just ignore it. You have actually wrote a post about this though, so maybe it’s worth exploring how you have changed as a man when facing a situation like this. Just make sure you don’t get back to hers and drink wine!
LikeLike
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.
But being able to look at it from the RP perspective is enough for me. We never had sex. And that’s very important for me when bonding with a woman.
There’s just NO WAY the sex is as good as I used to make myself believe it could of been.
You make a good point. I think it’s important to put myself in situations like this (and share them), post RP, to see how I’ve grown, but, not this one. It’s a lost cause.
Thanks for dropping by. Commentary like yours is welcomed.
LikeLike
In a former life, I was cultivating a oneitis live-in for permanent co-habitation. By a miracle I found the cajones to send her packing back to her rural digs after dealing with her volcanic temper once too often.
A year goes by and I get a letter from her hitting me up with flirtatious and flowery praise. Her retail craft store had left her penniless after it went under and she was now seeking to reunite with her former well-paid ex whom she had failed to appreciate enough to keep her temper in check for back in the day.
Needless to say, the letter was promptly crumpled and perfectly bank-shot into the wastebasket.
Plenty of fish out there and I really hate being thought of as a real sucker.
LikeLike