The First Five

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I am five months into my new job as a personal support worker. During this time I have accumulated five clients.

In less than a month I will be doing it full time. Recently, I have experienced some of the challenging obsticles invovled with this new path of mine. Although they may be challenging, I enjoy working hard and learning new skills and techniques.

The rush of accomplishing your goals after months of hard work, stress and eventual success, is a great feeling. But do not let this great feeling consume you.

Just like NRE, or new relationship energy, it can make you feel incredibly high. High enough that it may cover you in a euphoric haze and distract you from making good decisions.

The haze that I was consumed in manifested itself in me putting way too much pressure on myself to peform well. Or in other words, wanting to be the best personal support worker, ever. Seriously, I felt like that.

In the last two weeks, while interacting with clients, I sometimes made poor decisions. Or more specifically, on two occasions, when we would be out in public and they would be behaving inappropriately, I can remember getting frustrated and taking their negative behavior personally. When I took their negative words and actions personally, in that moment, I was forgetting that I am there to support them. Never the other way around.

If I start to feel frustrated then my clients start to get stressed, anxious and also start to get frustrated.

This is what I call emotional state transfer.

I remember bringing this idea up, of emotional state transfer, during a workplace seminar I attended a few months ago. I had the opportunity to talk about it when it came time for the group to ask the speaker some questions.

Little did they know I first learned about emotional state transfer from a few sources, 1) old Game liturature like Hypnotica, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Carlos Xuma, etc. and 2) from the first few times I took mdma.

The two speakers and the group were intrigued and also impressed.

I remember leaving that seminar with not just some contacts and great advice, but this incredible feeling like I could lead, help and save ANYONE on the planet!

That feeling, that rush, helped motivate me to get more and more clients. As good as it was as a motivator, I soon forgot to think realistically for myself. As I said, I thought I could lead the world, but seemed to forget that I have only been doing this for five months and have no formal training (other than CPR) or academic certification (I eventually will) to my name.

My approach now is more sutble and actionable instead of in-your-face-know-it-all and confusing. I now listen to my clients more closely. And try to be more client-specific in my leading skills.

I genuinly want to help these young men and make sure they are learning something new and having fun in the process. I am slowly, but surely, learning to not put too much pressure on myself, and my clients, and to relax and have fun. An example is instead of me always worrying how they might be feeling, I know now, if they are not enjoying themselves or feel stressed they will find a way to communicate that to me. I just have to look closer at their behavior. Behavior = Communication.

Finding a passion and new path in life is a wonderful feeling. But beware of the impact this feeling can have on your emotional state and the others around you and also your overall progress in self improvement. Become self aware enough to make sure the rush of a new beginning does not make you burn out before you have a chance to shine. -d