The word ‘Frame‘ comes up a lot in Game and red pill literature. Understanding your role, as a man, within a relationship is mandatory for the strength and survival of it. Know the value that you bring to the table and also that of a potential mate.
I used to think of myself as a knight that would wander around the kingdom looking for a princess to save. That almost never worked out in my favour. And when it did, because the foundation of the relationship was never built correctly in the first place, the inevitable collapse of the relationship took place before I knew what was happening.
Classic Beta
If I happen to pick a girl up from a bar, patio, party or from within my social group, and she is of a lower sexual market value (SMV), which has almost always been the case, I rarely want to or expect to get into a long-term-relationship (LTR).
It will usually consist of ‘hanging out’. Code word for “lets put Netflix on, smoke some weed, drink some wine and finger each other.”
At the time I knew we were fuck buddies. Just drinks and sex.
However, if I pick a girl up from a bar, patio, party or from within my social group and the woman is of a higher (perceived) SMV than myself, I cease to be the young man that she became attracted to when we first started to invest time in each other. I say ‘perceived’ because this is where pedestaling a women comes in.
I have been in the exact same situation with other young women, Netflix and Mary Jane, and have behaved quite differently just because I thought she was better than me.
At the time I did not think we were fuck buddies. I thought ‘this was the one’ and that I better do everything I can to keep her.
This new-relationship-energy (NRE) slowly turns from motivation to desperation. For me, it takes about six-eight months to drop all of my hobbies, interests and fitness so as to dedicate my time and resources to a woman.
Frame-control erodes and my social life with friends becomes almost not existent.
Thar She Blows!
Here are a few situations for you to notice. These can act as a sign or ‘flag’ for you to change your beta behaviors accordingly or to next a girl and move on with your life.
1. Interest in hobbies and lifestyle has diminished significantly
Soon after I started working-out on a regular basis and taking the time to improve myself in other areas of my life I noticed the women around me, noticing me. Then soon after that I hooked up with a girl. Turns out she actually had a crush on me for quite some time.
Anyways, as the ‘relationship’ went on my work-out routine screeched to a halt and I was only exercising when training individuals. I also stopped going to a Slow Pitch Beer League I was in.
It is too easy to invest all of your time and energy into a woman when you have been told, since you were a child by various outlets, that doing so will enthral your partner and have them deeply in love with you for all eternity.
2. Taking the lead almost never occurs
On several occasions I found myself doing various activities that I simply did not want to do. One time I went for a picnic with this young woman. Long story short, it was not fun. We ended up leaving because of some stupid reason I never got to the bottom of.
However I did learn one thing, if I do not want to do something, especially if it is with a woman, I am completely free to decline the offer and have no reservations or negative feelings about it. When I was younger I almost always assumed when making plans with a woman that I must be respectful and have us both come up with ideas for what to do.
I am sure you have heard this before,
Him: “Hey babe, what do you feel like doing tonight?”
Her: “I’m not really sure, what do you want to do?”
Him: “Anything that you want to do babe.”
You can see where this is going. They eventually end up staying in. All of which could have been avoided if the guy simply made a decision and went with it.
3. Never actively flirting with or pursuing other women
The beta inside is always looking for the ‘perfect one’. And once it finds the ‘perfect one’ there is nothing more for it to do then sit back, get comfortable and just let it ride. This is an unproductive and unhealthy way to live.
This one girl, the last time I saw her, could tell that she was the only girl in my life. Her body language was showing distance. She was not as flirty or touchy around me like she once was. When I look back I remember coming off needy and reeking of oneitis.
Guess what, I no longer talk to her anymore, and if you read this blog or any others within the manosphere then you know exactly why.
I cannot wait to get into a situation where I can try plate-spinning. I welcome all challenges and failures that I am sure are a result of that. I love practicing my Game around the women I know, work with or that I just meet. I have nothing to lose.
Re-frame
The snow has now melted and I want to come at it at a different angle. Not recreate my Game, some of it has worked. But there is so much more I can learn and things I can still do for myself to get the women and relationships I want.
The red pill helps ground my Game within a framework I can understand and work from. I am still learning and applying the techniques written about frame-control throughout the manosphere.
I recommend grabbing a glass of twelve year old Glenlivet and taking the giant red pill and tossing them both back then go read up on frame-control. You will thank me (perhaps not in the morning).
It is very easy to read everything you can on pick-up, Game and red pill and then not actually go out and put yourself into situations to use and apply all of it.
I am guilty of this. Excuses are easy. But if you lower your expectations to within reason and give yourself a realistic time-frame to reach your goals of self-improvement you will start to notice a positive change in your life. All that you learn from the manosphere will seep out and you will start to understand the power of Game and the influence of taking the red pill can have on your life.
If you can think of other situations and behaviors that betas can look out for, please feel free to share them in the comments. -dcl
