The Princess Rules

CONTEXT – I do not expect a relationship from this young lady. The first time she dropped, “The Talk” on me, I decided to not be funny and just be honest and say (with some encouragement and help from other casanovas) – I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I’m having fun. Are you having fun?

So far so good.

A few days ago I went to this young ladys house. I’ve been seeing her for the summertime.

During some banter and back and forth teasing (and admittedly some thick asshole game or whatever), she got up and handed me a piece of paper with some writing on it.

Fellow Machiavellian Princes, for your viewing pleasure, I present to you, from a 21 year old party girls’ head (she’s half kidding, I think):

The Princess Rules

 dcllive princess rules.jpg

Lets have some fun with this, shall we?


1. Always pay attention to me

This is perfect. The first one out of the gate is spot on. A princess will always be looked at, talked to, and catered to. Basically any engagement that involves interacting with another life form.

My Machiavellian friend, sorry bud, according to the rules you ain’t getting no booty-booty without no talky-talky or texty-texty.

2. If you can’t do #1 at any given moment, please let me know

Wait a minute, ‘letting you know’ is giving you attention. Sneaky-sneaky princess. You’re not just a pretty face and inflated ego. You have a plan.

3. Make up anytime no spent not paying attention to me

There is a theme here – attention. I think the best way to woo a princess (or any lady for that matter) is to not give her the attention she so desperately craves from you. And then give it to her (wink wink).

4. Kisses must be given in threes

Perhaps an OCD? No matter to a prince. We can use it to our advatage. Just like the attention, kiss her twice, and see her fight to get that thrid kiss. Or keep the third kiss from her and think of clever ways for her to earn that thrid last kiss.

5. Snuggles are mandatory

Personally, this prince doesn’t have a big problem with snuggling/cuddling. However, it must only be cuddling, after/before sex. Let those chemicals do their work and she’ll be bonding to you nicely (pending you plowed the shit out of her properly). She’ll be calling you daddy in no time.

6. “Going Greek” must be limited to twice a month

Hands up if any of you in the audience know what, “Going Greek” means? I’ll wait….that’s correct, it means anal sex. This is up to each prince to do what they will with that info. If I drink enough mead, then perhaps, yes, I’ll consider sneaking in the back door of her castle.

7. 24 hours notice must be given if #6 is wanted

This prince isn’t too familiar with partying “Greek.” Perhaps perparing for battle is the best decision. Oh, and bring your shield (aka wear a condom).

8. Presents are not required but are nice

I agree. Presents are nice.

9. Thou shalt bring me chocolate and mydol when shark week is upon us

“shark week” means bleeding lady parts. Depending on what kind of prince you are, you’ll either bring her chocolate and drugs, or, bang her with all of your might reagardless of the scary Red Dragon between her legs. I’d rather go with chocolate for her, blow job for me. A prince is resourceful.

10. My name in your phone shall be either “Princess” or “Miss Muffin”

My fellow Machiavellian’s, if a request is made for her name to be anything other than her actually name in your phone, you can be damn sure your name in her phone is probably something silly as well.


That was fun.

Does every 21 year old young lady think this way? I don’t know. This one in particular has shown some red flags early on, so I was able to curb any “progrssion” in our time spent together. We drink and have sex once a week. Good enough for me.

She’ll drop, “The Talk” again, and I’ll say the same thing, slightly different, and then she’ll go, or not.

We’ll both start the crazy search again, me – for a princess to deflower in a tall castle tower, and her, for a prince to rule over and give up his power.

A Ride Through Suburbia

I went on a bike ride through suburbia. 28 degrees (83), clear, and sunny.

dcllive weather.jpg

While on my ride I had my iPod in listening to some jams. Enjoying the tunes, soaking in the nice weather, on Sunday of a long weekend.

Then, a thought rushed in from the ether:

There’s nothing here. The paved driveways, nicely cut grass, properly kept gardens, and not a lot of people, but a lot of cars – there’s nothing to them. They’re empty.

IMG_20160905_143330.jpg

I don’t remember feeling any negativity while having this quick thought (or message, not to sound to hokey pokey). There didn’t seem to be any judgment attached to the thought at all.

I didn’t dislike any of the people I saw out and about tending to their homes. It was like I was looking at it all as objectivley as I could.

Another thought hit me soon after:

I don’t want any of this.

dcllive no trespassing.jpg

I tried picturing myself doing all of that: cutting the grass, paving driveways, washing cars, planting gardens, etc. It has nothing to do with the hard work itself, but the reasons behind them.

Currently, in my gut, I felt like this isn’t something I want anytime soon – the home, the kids, the lawn, dog – none of it.

I’m going with my gut.

IMG_20160905_144916.jpg

Go outside. Go for a bike ride. A walk. Or just sit down somewhere on the grass.

IMG_20160905_144216.jpg

Maybe a powerful thought, or message, will come out of the ether and reveal something to you about yourself. At least something about you, in that moment. It might mean something to you.

IMG_20160905_144229.jpg

It meant enough to me to write this post and share it with you.

I’m glad some things are a bit clearer to me now.

28 degrees (83), clear, and sunny.

IMG_20160905_145058.jpg

_______________

PS – Maybe some influence might help with your revelation heh.

 

Anger and Fishing

My back was turned for about 1min. I was already untangling someone else’s line. Kids eh. Untangling fishing line is not that fun.

IMG_20160812_103242.jpg
It may not look bad but it was bullshit to untangle.

As soon as I would get one fishing pole line untangled I had to do another. I could feel the emotion starting to bubble up: Anger.

I’m not sure how they did it but two others got their fishing pole stuck in a tree. I got the poles down, and this was the result:

IMG_20160812_105835.jpg
How?

“How did you do this buddy?” I said to the little guy.
“Not sure. Was just trying to cast. I’ve never done this before.” he replied.

I then took a deep breath. And started to become mindful of a few things:

  • How my body was feeling – hydrated, not hungry
  • How hot it was – 43 degrees
  • Where we were – fishing at the side of a river
  • Who I was with – friends and kids

What happend as a result of me becoming mindful of my anger? I relaized I shouldn’t be complaining about fishing outside in the sun during the summer. I’m lucky to be doing this.

I could of made some terrible life choices and given a shitty life deal and not been able to go fishing. I could of been getting in a shootout with cops (#Strathroy).

This mindfulness process was about 20 seconds long. Anyone can do this. Of course I didn’t invent this. I’m here telling you that it works. Try it yourself the next time your’re feeling that anger bubble up.

Ultimately these are some thoughts about graditude and controlling your anger in the moment.

Has anyone else been fishing this summer?


(I missed 1 day out of Lucky’s 7 Day Challenge. That’s okay. I’m going to write 2 tonight. Any of you bloggers out there are more than welcome to join us in our writing challenge!)

Human Peripheral Devices

How do humans plug-n-play with the world around them?

With our 5 senses. Those senses are of course:

  • Hearing – Ears
  • Seeing – Eyes
  • Tasting – Mouth
  • Touching – Hand (body)
  • Smelling – Nose

Why were we given these 5 senses?

Or to put it another way:

How come we don’t have pits on our faces that detect infrared light like many snakes do (called pit organs)?

How come we don’t have tails that can detect “electric fields generated by muscular contractions” in the water like the platypus does?

It has to do with evolution. The genes, the enviroment, the organism, and the tools used to interact with the world, are all bound by the laws of physics.

Within the framework of the laws of physics comes natural selection. A couple of things about evolution/natural selection:

  1. It’s not perfect
  2. It’s not always the strongest that survives

When genes (how heredity is passed along) are copied they’re not always a perfect copy.

Things being the way they are out there (or way down in there), these copies are not perfect. In the same way, you can tell the difference between an original document and a copy of the document made with a copy machine, it’s very difficult in nature to make a perfect copy. – Bill Nye “The Science Guy” – Undeniable

That’s okay that the genes aren’t perfect. When it comes to evolution and natural selection, you just have to be good enough.

…there is another remarkable and vital point to be made about evolution and the survival of the “good-enough.” It is an unfortunate linguistic happenstance that “survival of the fittest” sounds so good, because random natural variation does not produce perfectly fit individuals, nor does it need to. Evolution is driven by the idea of “fits in the best,” or “fits in well enough.” – Bill Nye “The Science Guy” – Undeniable

Genes aren’t perfect and organisms just have to be good-enough to suvive and procreate. It’s hard to survive when resources are limited in the environment.

… individuals compete for resources in their respective ecosystems, and the individuals that are born or sprout with favorable variations have a better shot at survival than their siblings. – Bill Nye “The Science Guy” – Undeniable

Within each ecosystem species fighting over limited recources is a matter of life or death. Which brings us to our questions from earlier:

How come we don’t have pits on our faces that detect infrared light like many snakes do? and, how come we don’t have tails that can detect electromagnitism in the water like the platypus does?

The reason is – the genes that we ended up with created the smartest brain on the planet. Our peripheral devices are an extention of our brain.

Since us humans, snakes, and platypus share the same ecosystem (which is inbetween the micro and macro) we dominated the fuck out of them because we ‘fit in the best.’

It turns out we didn’t need to see our prey in infrared or need to detect them with electroreception. We needed to out smart them. And we certainly did. Using our brains’ 5 “good-enough” senses – our human peripheral devices.


___

(I’m doing Lucky’s 7 Day Challenge. Try to write a post everyday for 7 days. Any of you bloggers out there are more than welcome to join us!)

Small World

A young woman (22 yo) I went on a date with a few months ago is working with me for a week at my new job. I knew I recognized her. Small world.

We went on a date at the pub. The date was fun, but I didn’t see us going on more than a date or two (met her during my yearly “dating blitz” so I had other more potential prospects).

Today as I was getting some things together in the office I was telling one of my other coworkers that I recognized her. My coworker said, “Do you know her from the same friend group or maybe from school?” Nope. I knew it was a date.

My temperament wouldn’t of permitted me to go the full week without bringing it up to the girl I went on a date with. I had to ask her right away, “I recognize you. Did we go on a date a few moths ago?” She responds, “I’m not sure, maybe?”

She seemed a bit nervous. Her face went red. I didn’t pester her. I knew I was right.

An hour goes by and I check my phone, “Lets test this one out…. Haha”

 dcllive date work

Confirmed. It is her. She remembered where we went on the date. We had a good laugh about it.

As you can see the last message was on May 29th. As usual I was being cheeky and was trying to get her over for a movie. But she was being insanely flakey so we never had that movie date.

There is about half a million people in my city. Never thought I’d run into her. As long as I’m not weird about it, this week should finish off smooth.

This has been a fun and intersting summer so far. How about you, how’s your summer going, any funny situations happen to you?


(I’m doing Lucky’s 7 Day Challenge. Try to write a post everyday for 7 days. Any of you bloggers out there are more than welcome to join us!)

Being Hard On Yourself

After school ended in April I needed a job. Money ran out. A month went by and I hadn’t found a job yet.

On the May 2/4 weekend I was chatting with my Father. I was a bit stressed about not working, school debt, and my future (typical).

He noticed my behaviour and stopped me,

D, you’re too hard on yourself. For the last month you’ve been looking for a job. Putting resumes out and making calls. That’s better than losers out there not doing anything. Give yourself a break. Geez.

Coming from him that made me feel a whole lot better. I look up to my Father and don’t want to disappoint him. Has always been that way. I think I’m hard on myself because I want to impress him and show him I’m not a loser.

He knows I’m not. He’s proud of me and the effort I’ve made in the last 3 years (and at other times throughout my life).

We’ve got to remember to take stock in what we’ve accomplished. It could be as simple as getting the days errands completed (I love doing that), something a little more challenging like getting a job interview, or changing it up like moving into an apartment of your own (which I will being doing before the end of this year).

What have I accomplished?

  • Working 3 jobs (got a new summer job, they’re definitely going to ask me to stay on in the fall)
  • Went back to school, staring my second semester this September
  • Casually dating a (I hope she thinks the same, I may have been a bit uncalibrated) 21 year old, she calls me daddy (during sex)
  • Have been taking only cold showers for a few weeks now

Other than school, this all happened in the last 3 months. I really should give myself more credit.

We’ve got to stop putting too much pressure on ourselves. Staying motivated and disciplined is a good thing but to be constantly comparing yourself to fitness and self-improvement gurus isn’t. I know, I’ve done that.

Stop being too hard on yourself.

Come on, I know you’ve done something productive lately. Comment below and share with us what it is.

giphy-punch.gif


(I’m doing Lucky’s 7 Day Challenge. Try to write a post everyday for 7 days. Any of you bloggers out there are more than welcome to join us!)